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15th-Jul-2009 09:48 am - small question
birds

I just sent in a reference. the form was emailed to me as a non-fillable PDF, so i just printed it out and filled it in by hand. Now i'm wondering - does it look unprofessional to handwrite such things? Not the name and details, but the 3/4 page of writing of the actual reference. My handwriting's not too bad, but i did start to run out of space at the end and the lines started to go a bit slopey....
hmm.

4th-Dec-2008 11:59 am - no box relationship poll
roma
a couple of people* asked me the same question recently - What do i want in a relationship?
which was a question i found rather hard to answer. so, dear readers, i put the same question to you (don't ask yourself what i want though, ask what you want). i think the problem is i've always viewed relationships as rather specific things - not so much what i want in a generic way - but something that comes about specific to the combination of the other person and myself. so there are qualities or aspects i really valued in one, that might have been completely missing in another. so what's really important? a nice fuzzy feeling of warmth and lovingness, feeling safe, belonging, sexual chemistry, mental stimulation, being understood, a cup of tea in bed every morning, having one person laugh at your jokes?

please tell me. all comments screened. let me know if it's ok to unscreen.

*one was a therapist (in a non-professional capacity) the other has had therapy.. so i suspect it's a basic question.
8th-May-2008 12:04 am - sugar and spice and all things nice
night eye
i was browsing the 'culture' pages of the Guardian when i came across this article. i should have known better than to read it - i've never read anything by Greer i've got on with, and i'd never heard of Cyrus. well, in general, i didn't feel any better for reading it, but one part that really bothered me wasn't about the story so much, as just a blanket statement on girlhood:

We train female children to be manipulative and to exploit their sex. From the time she is tiny, a girl in our society is taught to flirt. She is usually dressed like a mini-whore in pink and tinsel, short skirt, matching knickers, baby-doll pyjamas, long hair falling over her face. She learns to court attention and, when successful, to hide her face. If she's lucky enough to get to be a big sister she might get over this sleazy conditioning, but very few daughters these days get to grow out of being "daddy's girl". When the time comes she is likely to reject approaching womanhood, desperate to keep her thighs skinny, and nearly as desperate to acquire hard, high breasts. The idea of growing into her own body is charmless, frightening. One thing we know about the Leibovitz photograph is that Cyrus saw nothing amiss in clutching a satin sheet to her apparently naked bosom, and looking at the camera over her shoulder. Girls are taught to look at the world in that sidelong fashion from the time they come to consciousness.

um... really? really?? i just don't recognise that at all. it makes me feel quite ill. my parents didn't emphasise my gender as a child, i was just allowed to be a little kid. i was quite boyish, but they didn't make a big deal of that either. other people would usually refer to me as a boy and they wouldn't always correct them, it just wasn't considered that important. i remember the first times i tried out womanly things as being very awkward, unnatural, whether it was walking in high heels or mimicking certain expressions, or poses. it was definitely something that happened when i was well into adolescence, and continued years into 'adulthood'. i know my experience isn't the same as everyone elses, but the generalisation portrayed in that paragraph is just sickening. out of curiousity - does anyone recognise my or Greer's version of events? am i just uncommonly well protected or late to catch on
25th-May-2007 07:41 am - fuzz
night eye
so... i tried to make a poll. it kept breaking. then i tried to not post it and it appeared. hmm. will it work this time?
what with the warm weather recently i shaved my underarms for the first time this year. oww. i never used to do it til i started proper jobs and felt obliged to represent the firm etc, though i don't mind doing my legs. i'm kinda curious as to how much the idea that people, women in particular, should be mostly hairless (except on their heads) is a popular fiction, whether people are actually bothered by it. i was considering a section on pubic hair but it's fixed now. and a thorough poll would've doubled up the 'others' questions but it was getting a bit long so just pick one, ok? poll )
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